Alcohol at weddings

Maybe this isn’t the commonplace at Indian weddings (yet), I expect a sharp increase in the  number of weddings serving alcohol soon, myself included.
As I pondered if I would really serve alcohol at my wedding (and thus inviting a lot of merriment and chaos), I realised that my parents are not really aware of this sweet side. But it doesn’t really matter I guess.

What would I serve though?
My  favorite is undoubtedly Vodka. I do not think for a minute that it would be wise to serve that burning drink at my wedding. It is a hard drink, and when someone decides to get a little jolly with it, everyone else’s night is ruined. Though I like it, I cannot serve it. The same goes for Whiskey, Brandy and other hard drinks.
Beer is a poor choice if you ask me. It has  absolutely no class to it and is the fat man’s lazy drink. To be honest, my opinion is biased as I cannot stomach the smell or taste of it. With beer, you get a more “Im chilling” kind of vibe, but if that is what you want at your wedding, I am nobody to stop you.

It all  depends on the mood of the affair. If you want a solemn, serious reception, then serve your guests accordingly. If you need them to see it as a romantic bash, perhaps some classy wine would do.  Suppose your reception is going to be a laid back and chill event, beer is your go to. If you just wanna have fun with it, shots of your favorite hard  drinks will help you.

But  whatever choice you make, be comfortable with it and own it for the rest of your life. You have the supreme word in planning your wedding, not your aunty or grandma.

Desi brides and bachelorette parties

The target audience of this post is obviously my fellow countrywomen. Some of you might want to hold bachelorette parties. Here is a detailed how-to on that.

First of all, talk it out with your partner. What do you want and what does he think your party will be all about?Smoking up, drinking and just dancing with your girls? Cutting a cake thats shaped like a manhood?  Or is he comfortable with strippers around you? (If you want that) Or is it going to be a very simple dinner? Sanskari mehendi function?

Whatever it is, you need to both be in the clear on what your party can comprise of. Ditto if he wants a bachelor’s party.

Now that we have that out of the way, lets move on to the actual party. We shall now categorize your options into 3: Thrift, Decent and Splurge. Obviously, these are based on money. I will concentrate on the boozy, badgirl parties in this post.

Here is your step by step to any bachelorette party:

1. Decorate. Your best friends are lights. You get amazing kinds of lights at really good prices. Another YES is balloons. You can get shiny balloons for some bling factor. There are so many options for decorating. Do not make it look kiddish like a birthday party.

2. Music. Your music has to be top notch and slutty. It certainly must not be romantic or something that kills the mood. I would highly recommend item numbers that are danceable to. It would really set the mood.

3. Booze. Get hard drinks, if you are into that and also keep lots of water nearby. Be prepared for someone throwing their guts up.

4. Smoking up? If you do weed, I recommend rolling before-hand. Again, have good music and food to go.

5. Food is really important to any party. 3 things that are MUST HAVES are: Pizzas, Ice creams and  cakes. Those manhood cakes are MADE for bachelorette parties. They are available on instagram, I believe. You can order there. 

6. Have the most bad girl games you can think of. I would make a compilation here, but I am not sure how well that would be received. Do not try to just play same old truth or dare when you can get creative.

7. What to wear: what you are comfortable with. A tiara and sash would be cute additions. A feather boa is a YES for those of you who love that. (Like me)

For those who are in THRIFT:

1. Your home or your friend’s home or some inexpensive SECURE place. Just ensure that its been decluttered first : Clean and enough space to dance or do whatever you want. Throw clutter into a room and bolt it.
2. Your music can be compiled by yourself and played on stereos. You can ask a friend who is pretty intrested in music to help you with that.
3. Drink at home. Go to a bar only if it is a ladies night. Do not go drinking in a bar otherwise unless you will kill your cash.

For those who are in decent:

1. The venue of yours can be in a resort room that you can take for a night. Itll be amazing if you book early.
2. Get your own booze and stereos too! Just ask around if people smoke up around there and decide if it is dangerous before you smoke up.
3. You can definitely try to get matching raunchy outfits with friends or spend a little extra on the attire and hire a professional photographer.
4. Check out the signs for bachelorette parties and pose with some!

Splurge

1. You can book a hall and have it decorated for your event professionally.
2. Hire entertainers for your party! Spas, DJs, dancers and whatnot. Check if strippers are ok.

3. Get some real quality booze. Do not settle for cheap crap. Have amazing food to go with it. Try including many varieties.
4. Have your bachelorette’s saved forever by hiring pros to capture and record it.

Afternote

While I have immense regard for our culture, I believe that humans are sexual beings and will want to sometime be flamboyant about it. I see nothing wrong with that. I believe that banning something or judging someone for having a desire is not constructive but teaching people to enjoy responsibly is better. 

Short haired bride?

Most of us associate short hair and pixie cuts with tomboys and some level of mischief. That’s all fun and dandy, but hey, short haired girls are still girls. Perhaps some of them would still like to look all elegant and girly and dreamlike – and trust me, short hair IS all of those things!

Your hairstyle choices may be a little limited due to the length of your hair, but you can make things a little interesting by altering the way you part your hair and how you tuck it behind your ear.
And of course, there is always colouring and highlighting your hair. A couple of warm tones in your hair would make a huge difference.

But I believe, that a short haired bride’s best friend are embellishments! I do not know why I have such an obsession with hair accessories and brides, but I do believe they contribute greatly to the elegance factor. Here is my list of top hair accessory choices for a wedding 🙂

1. Tiaras

There is literally NOTHING better than a tiara to make you feel like a princess. It is the symbol of dreams. Depending on the theme of your wedding – whether it is a grand gala or a very simple affair, you can choose how detailed and bejewelled your tiara is.
Tiaras go very well with classic wedding gowns. My advice is to keep the tiara and the rest of the jewellery inversely proportional. If your tiara is grand, then do not overdose on the other jewellery. You want the highlight to be on the tiara. On the contrary, for simple tiaras, chandelier earrings or a fancy choker may go well.

2. Flowers

Especially apt if you are choosing an exotic/ destination wedding are flowers. You can just get a few in your wedding colours and tuck them behind your ear. For larger flowers, bobby pins are a must to mobilize them. You really dont want them falling off.
Smaller, multiple flowers can be used in a braid IF you can braid a small lock of your hair on the side.

A different use of flowers are of course, Flower crowns:

All I can say, is 💜💜 . Flower crowns are amazing and if you can again, play with the size and colour and arrangement of the flowers to suit your theme.

3. Hairbands
I know that Hairbands are not your conventional wedding accesory, but just consider designer hairbands:

Do I hear a “Yes”? 
Hairbands can and do add personality to your hair, and ones with embellishments such as the one in the picture do make you very dreamlike.

Flower hairbands are also a good choice. You can add some bling into your hairbands if you are into that sort of thing.

I would recommend parting the hair only a little bit, like casually and not a well defined separation before you wear a hairband.

4. Barettes

Barettes are like rings for your hair. They are small, elegant and add feminity to your hair in an instant. For those with really short hair, you can go for:

These are small and do not overwhelm. Sometimes, huge accessories look overdone on short hair. Barettes keep it small, yet stylish and classy.
For longer varieties of short hair, how about larger ones that can hold your hair?

Arent they so adorable?
If you wear a veil, I would recommend you to begin the veil after the accesory.
Good luck!

How to propose to her in 4 steps!

How many do I invite to my wedding?

This is the dilemma of many brides. In order to make your wedding journey stress-free and an enjoyable experience, I have made a very easy flow-chart to follow. Any additions/ improvements are welcome.

flow- chart 

Now for the results:

1. A private affair

You do not really have to go over the top with your number of invites. If neither you, nor your partner like large gatherings, what is the point? The first criteria to invite someone to your special day is that you should be comfortable with that person.

Cutting on the quantity leads to an increase in quality. Smaller, but a better venue. Less quantity, but more exotic lunch menu. Less pictures of lost kids and sulking adolescents and more of happy, beaming members who are happy for you. This plan is especially better if you are on low budget.

2. Best of both worlds

Okay, so your situation is a little complicated. You are not exactly for a large gathering, but you also do not want it to be another family get-together. What you can try is to combine these two.

Most cultures have a ceremony and a reception. You can selectively invite based on this. Perhaps, relatives for the ceremony and office-mates for the reception. Some relatives may not be so close to you – Keep them for the reception. Some of your closest girls from high-school who are fun when drunk but no fun at solemn ceremonies? – Invite them to the bachelorette party. Your great-aunt who your mother wants to invite? – Ceremony.

This has the added advantage of your guests also enjoying the wedding to the max. If you invite my introverted self to your bachelorette party with hot male strippers, I will certainly feel out of place and awkward. But I can be amazing at ceremonies – smiling and just observing the whole magic take place. You can have everyone you want- you get their presence and they get to enjoy too.

3. Cinderella

You are in a bit of a pinch financially. You want that grand wedding, but do not want to cut down on your guests. You wish you had a fairy godmother, don’t you? But you can be your own fairy godmother, with just a few measures.

Firstly, you can try to put the wedding off a little longer, save for a year, cutting needless expenses (Do you really need that new iPhone now?).

Secondly, you can do some recycling. Okay, you want your bridesmaids in expensive silk and satin. Have less bridesmaids. Is your best friend’s wedding dress or mother’s dress still as stunning as it was and does it fit you? Borrow it. Your aunt who do not really talk to, but makes fabulous cakes? Get in touch and ask for a discount. Remember your cousin who was into photography? Ask him if he can help you out a bit. There are a lot of highly talented freelancers who do not ask for much. Hire them.

I do not generally prefer GofundMe or borrowing money from friends and family for the wedding. It does put a damper on the whole affair. Borrowing from a bank is much better if you have to borrow. That way, you do not have the whole awkward “you married with my money” conversation when things get heated up and you really do not want your wedding to be one of charity, do you?

4. A royal wedding

You are that social butterfly with money. Consider yourself blessed. You can afford all that you want and a large number of guests. You need not fret about the expenses.

But with a large number of guests comes the issue of managing them. I would advise you to hire a professional managing service. Get a planner. Your need is an organizer to ensure that things move smoothly and do not turn chaotic. You cannot be expected to know when what flowers would arrive PLUS the menu PLUS the dress PLUS the guest list PLUS the invitation etc. It would be extremely hectic. Sort them out, and you shall have the wedding you always dreamed of.

Do you have anything else to tell me? Let me know!